Plans change so quickly don't they? It's moments like these where Heaven invades our earth. Where eternity challenges our fleeting reality. I was supposed to speak at a church this Sunday, and on Thursday, God prompted a change to those plans. I began to think about Paw Paw's sickness, and I knew that if anything happened to him, I would regret not sharing some final words with him. I would never regret missing the opportunity to speak to strangers...but I would certainly regret getting one last chance to speak to the man I have loved all of my life. A hero in my journey.
So I praise God that on Friday, I was able to have a few moments alone with that hero. He watched me as I began to fumble through the expressions of my heart. As I searched for words, what kept coming forth was simply "thank you." Thank you for loving each of us in our own special way. Thank you for giving us tradition. Thank you for giving us each other. Thank you for giving us laughter. Thank you for all you taught us. Thank you for memories we will take into eternity. Thank you for giving us a heritage to be proud of. Thank you for giving us opportunities. Thank you for giving us provisions. Thank you for your time. Thank you for giving us a passion for life. Thank you for teaching me that a reader is a leader. Thank you for teaching me about investing. Thank you for your many, many hugs. Thank you for your back slaps. Thank you for scobbing our knobs. Thank you for taking us fishing. Thank you for taking us exploring. Thank you for the fun trips to Elberta in that little white Regal. Thank you for showing me that I should never put my mouth on an exhaust pipe. Thank you for my Swiss Army Knife. Thank you for rides in the back of that rickety old truck. Thank you for playing in the leaves with us. Thank you for your letters. Thank you for the joy you showed when 3 little kids would run and jump on your bed at midnight because they couldn't wait until the morning to see you. There is so much more to say thank you for, but simply put, thank you for giving us life.
Jesus, would you just tell my Paw Paw right now how much I love him? Show him just a glimpse of the glory You are getting because of a life well lived.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Finally Home
I know it isn't much, and it definitely isn't the best, but I hope you guys enjoy/appreciate/think it does him justice.
"Finally Home"
What can one say,
About a man such as you?
Your actions have left
An echoing ripple on the waters of eternity.
You always showed kindness,
Being generous where needed.
Always willing to lend a helping hand,
And showing your love through discipline.
Now you are resting,
Secure in our Savior's arms.
Dancing with your family,
And sharing in the wealth.
A hearty cheer from me to you,
A healthy back-slapping hug,
A loving smile, and a silent tear.
I'm glad you are finally home.
"Finally Home"
What can one say,
About a man such as you?
Your actions have left
An echoing ripple on the waters of eternity.
You always showed kindness,
Being generous where needed.
Always willing to lend a helping hand,
And showing your love through discipline.
Now you are resting,
Secure in our Savior's arms.
Dancing with your family,
And sharing in the wealth.
A hearty cheer from me to you,
A healthy back-slapping hug,
A loving smile, and a silent tear.
I'm glad you are finally home.
Like He Lived
This morning, approximately a few minutes past 8, Ralph heard Fathers voice one more time. We all rejoiced that he was now free of all that was robbing him of being fully alive. We all choose to remember him fully alive...eyes wide open. Wide open to bless us so generously. Wide open to see and make opportunities to invest in the grandkids. Wide open to follow His unique calling and consuming passion- crafting words into stories of truth and the gospel that criss-crossed North America. Wide open in finding unconventional ways to make presses run when they didn't want to.
He died the way He lived; eyes wide open. With a chair pulled up next to PawPaw's bed and reading some scriptures about heaven, Kinsey and MeMaw arrived around 7:40 a.m. to relieve me. After saying good morning and telling PawPaw they loved him, Kinsey asked me if I wanted a little more private time. "Yeah, I think so." She and MeMaw had grabbed a couple of breakfast biscuits and slipped into the hallway to eat them while I was able to say to PawPaw, "Go, go home Ralph. Go to your Lord and rest." (Friday night/Saturday morning was a struggle for him and like many of us, I was so aggitated over having to see him continue to suffer). So many of us have been asking God to bring PawPaw home. Well, he opens his eyes and then make the extra effort to stretch them wider. I tell him want I want have to say and ask him to wait while I get Kinsey and MeMaw into the room. They get a few brief moments with him, eyes wide open. Just then hospice calls MeMaw to finalize the details for moving PawPaw back home but the time has come. The culmination of a life well lived, expressed in passion-commitment-loyalty. A life lived out loud and with eyes wide open. Good for you buddy, you know what we can only imagine. I love you all day and all night long.
He died the way He lived; eyes wide open. With a chair pulled up next to PawPaw's bed and reading some scriptures about heaven, Kinsey and MeMaw arrived around 7:40 a.m. to relieve me. After saying good morning and telling PawPaw they loved him, Kinsey asked me if I wanted a little more private time. "Yeah, I think so." She and MeMaw had grabbed a couple of breakfast biscuits and slipped into the hallway to eat them while I was able to say to PawPaw, "Go, go home Ralph. Go to your Lord and rest." (Friday night/Saturday morning was a struggle for him and like many of us, I was so aggitated over having to see him continue to suffer). So many of us have been asking God to bring PawPaw home. Well, he opens his eyes and then make the extra effort to stretch them wider. I tell him want I want have to say and ask him to wait while I get Kinsey and MeMaw into the room. They get a few brief moments with him, eyes wide open. Just then hospice calls MeMaw to finalize the details for moving PawPaw back home but the time has come. The culmination of a life well lived, expressed in passion-commitment-loyalty. A life lived out loud and with eyes wide open. Good for you buddy, you know what we can only imagine. I love you all day and all night long.
Pawpaw is home! I know this is a sad time, but I can't help feeling so joyful for Pawpaw. I just know he is up there hootin and hollerin and eating as many yummy grits as he can handle. If his stomach was small before, it is swelling up now- only this time with love from all of us. I miss my Pawpaw already. I wish I could have seen him more these past few years...but I am so glad I have so many memories of him that I can carry with me wherever I go. I love that when I chew Juicy Fruit or drink a Pepsi, I am reminded of Pawpaw. I love that when I am driving and I put my hand up on the ceiling I think "Hey, I'm driving just like my pawpaw". I love that nobody can yell like he can, or slap like he can. I love that without Pawpaws financial support, I wouldn't have gone off to college and met my wonderful husband. I love that when I hear an electric razor, I see Pawpaw in my head, walking around in his blue pants, black socks, and white wife beater shaving his face. I love his little sigh that sounded like "Hooohooohoo" after he had a good laugh. I love that I do the same thing when I laugh. I love my Pawpaw!!!!!!!!!
Wow,
so many emotions. I would like to say, thank you to Jesus. Jesus showed great mercy on Paw Paw and on us. It was torture knowing he was suffering. I smile and laugh at the thought of him dancing to the song of "tradition" He and Jesus are cuttin' a rug up there. He hasn't been able to do that in years.
To my paw paw,
How do I express all that I feel for you in mere words. I am so thankful to have been part of your heir. I hold my head high when I say "I am Ralph Woerner's granddaughter". This family will miss you greatly. We rejoice that you are dancing and hollaring with Jesus and Harold.
Your race is now run. You have won the prize. Congrats to you for a race well run. You are one of the best contenders this world has ever seen. I am so very glad I got to kiss you one last time. I got to see your smile one last time.
It is with joy and sadness that I say, goodbye. I blow a kiss toward heaven and I know that you are smiling and blowing one back. I love you ol man. You are a treasure in my heart and I will be seeing you soon.
Bye Ross I love you.
so many emotions. I would like to say, thank you to Jesus. Jesus showed great mercy on Paw Paw and on us. It was torture knowing he was suffering. I smile and laugh at the thought of him dancing to the song of "tradition" He and Jesus are cuttin' a rug up there. He hasn't been able to do that in years.
To my paw paw,
How do I express all that I feel for you in mere words. I am so thankful to have been part of your heir. I hold my head high when I say "I am Ralph Woerner's granddaughter". This family will miss you greatly. We rejoice that you are dancing and hollaring with Jesus and Harold.
Your race is now run. You have won the prize. Congrats to you for a race well run. You are one of the best contenders this world has ever seen. I am so very glad I got to kiss you one last time. I got to see your smile one last time.
It is with joy and sadness that I say, goodbye. I blow a kiss toward heaven and I know that you are smiling and blowing one back. I love you ol man. You are a treasure in my heart and I will be seeing you soon.
Bye Ross I love you.
A Wake-Up Call
I have to say nothing is quite as depressing as getting a wake-up call at 10 am, hearing dad say "I have some bad news" and knowing immediately what it is before he actually shares it. Though despite all the pain and hurt I think I should feel, all I have is an overwhelming peace that couldn't ever be described with simple words. God has always been kind to me in this area, and maybe it's because He knows that if He didn't I would fall apart. *shrugs*
It's been really fun to read all the different memories that have been posted, though I still have more to read. I don't have a ton of memories with Paw Paw, but the things I do remember are highly entertaining, or just good memories in general.
I remember going to the cold cold creek every summer. We would always enjoy a bit of family time there, and who can forget the infamous story of Harold falling on his back, and Paw Paw crying for the Watermelon?
I remember riding in the back of Eddy's truck with Ben as Paw Paw and Eddy took us fishing. We caught a large number of fish that day.
Speaking of fishing. I remember going deep sea fishing with just the guys, and every time Eddy would get a good catch Paw Paw would exclaim, "Wooooo Eddy!!!" with delight and a sparkle in his eyes that couldn't be matched... so we all started to imitate him in a loving teasing sort of way.
I remember sitting in the basement of the house back in Birmingham and looking in my stocking to see black socks. Good 'ol Paw Paw was looking out for me again :)
I remember watching him as he interacted with the grandkids and thinking, "I love my Paw Paw". He was a very kind man, though stern to be sure.
He was one of the people who taught me to work hard whether I liked it or not, and was even one of the ones to teach me how to cut grass the right way... get it cut well, but get grass all over you in the process :D
And so, though the memories I have of him are mostly fuzzy, I still do feel a twinge of sadness as I come to grips that he is with our Savior, but simultaneously I feel nothing but joy and happiness for him, because he no longer has to suffer the pains of this world.
I'm going to work on a poem dedicated to our all-time favorite Paw Paw. When I get it done, I'll post it up here.
It's been really fun to read all the different memories that have been posted, though I still have more to read. I don't have a ton of memories with Paw Paw, but the things I do remember are highly entertaining, or just good memories in general.
I remember going to the cold cold creek every summer. We would always enjoy a bit of family time there, and who can forget the infamous story of Harold falling on his back, and Paw Paw crying for the Watermelon?
I remember riding in the back of Eddy's truck with Ben as Paw Paw and Eddy took us fishing. We caught a large number of fish that day.
Speaking of fishing. I remember going deep sea fishing with just the guys, and every time Eddy would get a good catch Paw Paw would exclaim, "Wooooo Eddy!!!" with delight and a sparkle in his eyes that couldn't be matched... so we all started to imitate him in a loving teasing sort of way.
I remember sitting in the basement of the house back in Birmingham and looking in my stocking to see black socks. Good 'ol Paw Paw was looking out for me again :)
I remember watching him as he interacted with the grandkids and thinking, "I love my Paw Paw". He was a very kind man, though stern to be sure.
He was one of the people who taught me to work hard whether I liked it or not, and was even one of the ones to teach me how to cut grass the right way... get it cut well, but get grass all over you in the process :D
And so, though the memories I have of him are mostly fuzzy, I still do feel a twinge of sadness as I come to grips that he is with our Savior, but simultaneously I feel nothing but joy and happiness for him, because he no longer has to suffer the pains of this world.
I'm going to work on a poem dedicated to our all-time favorite Paw Paw. When I get it done, I'll post it up here.
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